One of my patients came to see me after surgery. She had a ruptured ectopic pregnancy. I was on call and went to do her emergency surgery. Because of the rupture, and damage I had to do a salpingectomy, remove her tube. She really wants to be pregnant. She wants another child. Her and her partner really worked hard for this pregnancy that was lost – a year of trying after, extensive fertility work up, surgeries… This loss was devastating. In her frustration and grief she went on about how easy it was to get pregnant as a teenager. How it feels like her biological clock is beating so loudly and her chances of a pregnancy are slipping away each day. She was very upset and want to know how soon she can start trying again.
I sat in front of her, with 2 fewer children, 1 less fallopian tube, a missing uterus, 2 years more of trying and 2 years older and I said, “Your window hasn’t closed. There’s still a chance. So many women have children in their 30s. You don’t have to give up or feel defeated. If you want to, we can keep working towards it. There are still so many options!” As I listened to those words coming out of my mouth, I wondered if they were for her or if they were for me. In that moment, we both needed words of hope.
Infertile ObGyn
about
Alyssa is a practicing OBGYN whose personal journey of family building has given her a greater understanding of loss, love, and living.
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