You will make many important decisions about your baby even before they make their long-awaited arrival. Who will be the Godparents? What will you name them? Should we circumcise? Plans for what you will feed your baby are also important, but like most things related to surrogacy, there is an extra layer of complexity. If you’re thinking about giving your baby born through surrogacy some amount of breastmilk, here is some great information for you.
Formula or breastmilk
You have one big decision to make because babies should only have two choices – breast milk or formula. The debate between breast milk and formula and the benefits and convenience are hotly debated, emotional for many, and I won’t rehash it here. Breastmilk is what has sustained humanity since there were humans. It is the OG, and it is what nature intended. But if you can’t give your baby breastmilk, of course give formula! There are many different types of formula, and you can research to choose the best one for your needs.
How do I give breastmilk to my baby born through surrogacy?
Even if you didn’t birth your baby, you might still be a big believer in the benefits of breastmilk. We welcomed our baby through surrogacy but still wanted to find a way to give our baby some breastmilk. If neither you nor your partner just delivered, how will you get breastmilk to your baby? Thankfully there are still two options – you can induce lactation or give donor breast milk.
What is inducing lactation?
The typical way of producing breastmilk is through the hormones created during pregnancy and delivery. But you didn’t just give birth so you’re going to have to hack the system. Inducing lactation is when you encourage your body to produce milk so that you can nurse and give your own milk to your baby. The most successful induction protocols are hacks that use hormones to trick your body into thinking it is pregnant and then pumping to simulate a newborn nursing. I was able to use one of these protocols to achieve a full milk supply to feed my baby!
How can you give your baby through surrogacy donor breastmilk?
The most common way to give your baby donated breast milk is from your surrogate. If your surrogate agrees, after delivery, she will pump breast milk for your baby. It can be frozen and shipped to you weekly if your surrogate doesn’t live locally. Generally, you are expected to pay for the supplies such as breast pump and milk storage bags and compensate your surrogate for her time and efforts.
Can you still give your baby breastmilk if your surrogate won’t pump for you?
There are many circumstances where your surrogate pumping breastmilk won’t work out. Maybe she’s not interested in the time commitment or has a history of low milk supply. Perhaps the logistics and cost of shipping are too much. Thankfully there are still other ways to be able to give your baby some breast milk
- Another surrogate – maybe there’s another surrogate living nearby or associated with your agency that is willing to pump but her intended parents have opted for formula
- A friend or family member – maybe you know someone who delivered recently who has an abundant supply and is willing to share
- Organizations- that facilitate milk sharing such as Human Milk 4 Human Babies and Eats on Feets
- Milk Banks- are medical organizations that collect screened donated breast milk and pasteurize it before distribution. They primarily give milk via prescription to babies in NICU but, if quantity allows, may also give to others.
Babies need milk. You can give formula, your own breast milk or donated breast milk or even a combination. Choose the option that will be healthiest for your baby and fits within your lifestyle. Don’t be afraid to get creative as you come up with your baby’s feeding plan.
