Pregnancy loss Archives - Infertile ObGyn

5 ways I’m finding peace and hope during the storm

Mind/Body, Pregnancy loss

Soon after we lost our daughter people would always tell us to take care of ourselves. “Take care of yourself”. I didn’t really understand what that meant. My therapist had a formal name for it, “self care”. She asked me what I do for “self care”. I looked at her from where I sat on the couch feeling puzzled. I replied, “what is that?”. She attempted to clarify saying things to promote well being. I asked if eating ice cream counts.

That started my journey into understanding what self care is and that I’m incorporating it into my daily life. These are the things that I’ve been able to do that helped me through the toughest months.

Christianity. I am a Christian and my faith is something I lean on. My faith in God and life was rocked. Praying for understanding, strength, peace, and support helped me greatly. Attending GriefShare sessions at my church allowed me to understand death and grief. It also taught me that it was okay to be angry with God and to question. GriefShare helped me to understand my feelings and prepare for times ahead such as making it through anniversaries. My church small groups and my other Christian friends are a great source of fellowship and support.

Meditation. Guided meditation was something I tried previously but didn’t get into. I really didn’t get it. The suggestion to meditate came to me many times in the months after my tragedy. I decided to give it a trial period to see if it could help me. I tried a couple platforms and settled on HeadSpace. It really helped to clear my mind of swirling anxious thoughts that kept me from sleeping. After the 10 trial sessions I got a subscription. I use the Sleepcast routinely to wind down and fall asleep. I’m also incorporating different sessions and meditations into my daily routines.

Sleep. When I don’t sleep I become more anxious and depressed. My sad thoughts really take over and make for a bad day. I find myself more irritable and less able to withstand daily stressors. Sleep is something I really prioritize. My nightly goal is 8-9 hours. It means I have to be more efficient with my time during the day. It means that sometimes things go unfinished because I have to turn out the lights and lay down. I have an alert on my phone through the HeadSpace app that I use as my 30minute reminder. I finish up what I’m doing and get ready for bed.

Exercise. I try to stay physically active doing different things. When I’m anxious or angry I like to take my frustrations out on the weights. I like to really show those dumbbells! Yoga is really relaxing for me and helps to clear my mind and relieve stress. Pilates through Blogilates on YouTube is something that I’ve revisited recently. I’m trying to work my way to exercising 5 days a week. A quick 10-20mins on the yoga mat in my living room is something I can do and still make it to the operating room by 7am.

Journaling. Writing out my thoughts is so therapeutic. It’s like putting them down on paper frees them from swirling around and around in my mind. These blog posts are an extension of this. I write about my day, I write long rambling essays, and I make blog posts. It all helps to put my thoughts together, line them up so I can better understand what I’m thinking. It also gives me a platform and an outlet to express myself.

Hopefully there are some ideas here that you can take away or build on for yourself. Storms don’t last always, but while the rain clouds are around these activities can see you through.