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When we were finally expecting through our surrogate, it was a rush of excitement, and I wanted others to share this joy with us. But how does anyone know we’re having a baby without me telling them? I don’t have the growing belly and silhouette of a pregnant woman. When I’m at a baby store, I get more of the “Oh! you must be shopping for a friend” treatment and not the “Oh! you guys are having a baby” treatment.
I’m an intended mother, meaning I’m not the one carrying the baby. Therefore I like to use surrogacy affirming t-shirts to help start that conversation and highlight our pregnancy. They make people curious because who can resist reading a t-shirt? My surrogacy shirts also help me to open up and speak to people about my surrogacy and infertility journey. More than anything, I’ve found that these shirts have allowed me to stay connected to the pregnancy and do the activities and nesting that most expecting mothers do.
All of the surrogacy shirts that I’ve gotten have come from Etsy shops. I like supporting these small businesses, many of which were started by people who have faced infertility or gone through adoption. The shop owners really get it and understand the impact of their surrogacy shirts.
WHERE TO WEAR YOUR SURROGACY SHIRT AS AN INTENDED MOTHER
Really, you can wear your shirt anywhere you like. I first wore my “mama in the making shirt” for our embryo transfer. My husband also wore a “dad in the making” shirt while our surrogate wore one with “embryos on board.” We were able to take a lovely group photo together. It also satisfied the office staff’s curiosity as to why this random couple was at this other woman’s embryo transfer appointment!
I’ve also worn this shirt on a road trip to see my parents, walking around the city, to the breastfeeding center to get my breast pumps checked out, and then to our infant and child CPR class. For the CPR class, there were other ladies with their pregnant bellies and me with my surrogacy shirt.
ARE THESE SHIRTS ONLY FOR SURROGACY?
We talk a lot about surrogacy here. These shirts are excellent for intended mothers and make very thoughtful gifts, but they are not just for surrogacy. Other soon-to-be mamas would also love these.
Adoption: Adoptive moms are also expecting a child. These shirts can help to build awareness and highlight adoption journeys.
Fertility care: Fertility care is a whole experience, and some of these shirts are great for women trying to conceive or undergoing fertility treatments.
Non-gestational: These shirts are also great for women whose wives or partners are pregnant (aka non-gestational parents); they’re about to be moms too!
One of the great things about working with small businesses is the ability to customize. If you see a shirt that says #adoptionlife or #surrogacy, you can contact the shop owner and see if they can switch up the wording for you.
The Best Surrogacy shirt options for intended mothers
NOT SHOWING, STILL GLOWING SHIRTs
I first saw this “Not showing, still glowing” surrogacy shirt before starting our surrogacy journey. It caught my eye instantly, and I just knew I needed to get one when we were expecting. Do you have that pregnancy glow, and you’re not even pregnant? I certainly did, and this shirt helped to highlight why I was beaming.
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RAINBOW SURROGACY SHIRTS
A rainbow baby is your baby that comes after much struggle and loss. This misfortune could be miscarriage, pregnancy loss, or infertility. The storm that this creates in your life can be so heavy. But all storms come to an end. And even through the dark days, you can see some beauty - a rainbow with a prized pot of gold. This pot of gold, this treasure, is your rainbow baby. Highlight the rainbow baby for whom you have fought, hoped, and waited.
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YOU DON’T HAVE TO CARRY TO BE A MOM SHIRT
“You don’t have to carry to be a mom.” How true is this? I love how inclusive the message of this shirt is. It really recognizes all women who have a positive, meaningful relationship in a child’s life. This could be a surrogacy shirt for an intended mother, a shirt for a mom through adoption, a grandmother, stepmother, aunt, or a foster mother. What a great way to celebrate family.
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SOON INTENDED MOTHER SHIRT
There is a lot of hurry up and wait with surrogacy. First, it’s the push to make embryos, followed by waiting to match. Then you have the rush of getting your surrogate screened and then waiting for her period to come to start medications. But through this run - pause - walk - run cycle, you know that soon you will have a baby in your arms. And eventually, that soon will become very, very soon! Therefore celebrate your upcoming motherhood with your “soon” shirt.
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NO BUMP BUT SO PUMPED SHIRT
This is a more subtle shirt because it doesn’t scream pregnancy at first. But it does express how excited you are. A “no bump but so pumped” shirt leaves space for you to talk about what the bump is and the unique way you’re welcoming your baby. In the right situation, like a gender reveal party, it would be obvious what you’re talking about, and your friends and family will be excited for you. This shirt is great for intended moms but also intended dads, adoptive parents, and even a super excited auntie!
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Mom in the Making Shirt
This was the first surrogacy shirt I bought when I became an intended mother. The message of becoming a mom really resonated with me. You don’t become a mom all of a sudden overnight. Surrogacy is a whole process with steps and effort over time. For us, it took over two years from embryo creation to cradling our baby. Throughout this time, I was becoming a mother. For me, this shirt really gets that essence.
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GROWING IN MY HEART SHIRT
Being an intended mother and not carrying your pregnancy means your little one isn’t growing inside you. This also means that you aren’t watching your belly grow each month. Yes, your baby isn’t developing within you, but that doesn’t mean your heart isn’t growing and swelling with joy, love, and anticipation. Therefore show off your joy-filled heart with this shirt. If you’re looking for a great matching shirt to wear with your surrogate, check out the “growing in my belly - growing in my heart” match-up.
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We’ve gone through 7 themes for surrogacy shirts for intended mothers. Whether you’re buying it for yourself or as a gift for a special woman in your life, one of these shirts will hit the mark. This could be a shirt that’s showier like the “Not showing, still glowing” shirt or the “No bump but still pumped” shirt. These can be great conversation starters, and you share your cheer with the world. Or maybe you’ll favor something more subtle with a small “soon” or “hope” rainbow shirt and sit with its quiet but powerful message. How you choose to highlight the joy of your surrogacy experience is part of your unique journey.
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